Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Back in Yeshiva!

I am back in Monsey New York, after a half a year of tending to some of the more exigent matters in my life (School, Job, Money, etc). The bus ride down here was not bad! It took us seven hours to get here, with three stops along the way. My travel partner and I met a really sweet little kid and her mother on the bus ride to Monsey. At first I got a bit annoyed at her because she kept wanting me to pay attention to her while I was reading. Eventually we all gave up and just paid more attention to this little girl, and it all got better. It was good entertainment along the way, until of course everyone got tired enough to go to bed.

I *tried* to do likewise while on the bus, but to little avail. I got what amounted to an extended period of closing my eyes and trying to relax. That seems to be what I get a lot of when I come down to this Yeshiva. Last night I didn't think I'd have much difficulty sleeping (I brought two pillows with me, of which one was very firm) but my prediction was very wrong. My back acted up again. It was one of those sleep attempts where each time I lie down to send myself into sleep mode my lower back gets more and more painful. I'll then have to stand up, walk around, wait until the pain goes away, then try sleeping again. Why would I consistantly have this problem when I'm down here at Yeshiva?

One possibility could be the poor quality of the mattresses made available to the students. Okay so this is possible, but I don't sleep on the greatest mattress while I'm at school, yet my back is fine while there! I also find myself sleeping on many other mattresses when I get set up to sleep over at peoples' places for shabbat. It could be that the mattresses here are extremely bad, but maybe it's something else...

Another possibility could just be that I have a very sensitive/bad back. I'm tall, with a high center of gravity. I am sure you can speak with many tall people who have bad backs for very similar reasons. Still the point remains that my back does NOT act up so much while I'm in most beds! Maybe yet another reason?

Something that I believe is contributing to this is the Yeshiva environment itself. Last night I had a very serious conversation about values with my travel partner before we went to bed. Granted it wasn't so serious that I was coaxed into a negative emotional state, but it got my mind running at many miles an hour. I always notice that when my mind runs at many miles an hour before bed that I have trouble sleeping. Being in the Yeshiva environment tends to be an immersive challenge for me, where I really have nothing to do but face this juggernautic system of values that can and will be different from some of the values that I've come to gather after 4 and a half years at my liberal University. I think that there's nothing wrong with being challenged, but there definitely is something wrong when I can't let my mind drop what I'm thinking/obsessing about in view of *good* sleep!

To help myself, I am going to make a concerted effort to meditate tonight before I go to bed. I will take a shower first, which should help loosen some muscles, and then I will sit down for 20 minutes and meditate. If, after all is said and done, the back pain is still there, I will cut my losses and pop another two advils!

Therapeutically,

- Inkhorn

Thursday, December 15, 2005

A ... Touching ... Chanukah Story!

It's that time of year again folks.

Deck the halls with your favourite menorahs, bring out your dreidels, put on your yarmulkas: Here comes Chanukah!

I'm reading a book that explains the myriad historical/biblical events which form the basis for Jewish holidays. If you're interested in reading more after reviewing what I have to say here, pick up "The Book of Our Heritage" by Eliyahu Kitov.

The first interesting tidbit that I noticed from Kitov's treatment of chanukah is the etymology of the word Chanukah. According to Kitov, Chanukah, or חנוכה, can be broken down in to two portions: חנו/Chanu and כה/chuf-hay (two letters of the hebrew alphabet). The reader learns that Chanu is a past tense conjugation of the verb "Rest", They Rested, while the chuf-hay refers to the number 25. This becomes significant when you learn that the day of the Hebrew Calendar that Chanukah falls on is the 25th of Kislev! What complicates matters a little bit is that not everyone really rests on Chanukah. The book explains how some people do no work for all the eight days of Chanukah, whereas others only abstain from work during the 30 minutes prior to the Candle Lighting. Here's the thing that confuses me (if someone is an expert in the older variations of Hebrew, or proficient in Aramaic please explain this): the modern hebrew verb for 'rest' is נח/Nach, not חן/Chan. Kind of strange in my opinion. Why would it get inverted like that? To further show the difference: If I wanted to say "They rested on the 25th of Kislev", in Modern Hebrew, I would say "נחו על ה'כה כסלו". That first word there (read from right to left) is NACHU, not CHANU.

Anyway, on with the interesting story! The book brings up a story that supposedly takes place, on Chanukah, during a time when Syrian powers were controlling Israel.


The daughter of Yochanan Cohen Gadol was especially beautiful and the tyrant-king desired her. She seemingly acquiesced, came before him and fed him cheese foods till he became thirsty. she then gave him wine to drink till he became intoxicated and fell asleep, whereupon she severed his head and brought it to Yerushalayim. When the Syrian soldiers saw that the king had perished, they fled.


Touching story isn't it? Surely one of those stories that encourages girl power in a Jewish context. Moral of the story: The way to a man's head is through his stomach!

More on Chanukah to come as I get through this chapter.

Rabbinically,

- Inkhorn

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Moving out!

Today is my last day in residence for the 2005 year!

I'm leaving in one hour, to go home and relieve myself from the school environment. I've liked it here. I've liked making new friends, staying in touch with old friends, and having access to York facilities!

Time to go though :)

Ruminatingly,

- Inkhorn

Monday, December 12, 2005

Rushmore!!

The first thing I have to say about Rushmore is wow!

Warning: I am about to go over many intimate details of this movie. If you have not seen it yet, please go see it and then read my review!

After having made some arrangements, to get the seventh set of letters of recommendation sent out for the latest Graduate School to which I'm applying, I went to the Sound and Moving Images Library (SMIL) at York U to take out a movie. In the biological haze of my viral sickness I searched meticulously for just the right movie to take back to my dorm and watch. I felt that I needed something light, yet satisfying. Finally I thought of looking up anything by Wes Anderson on the SMIL's search engine, to try my luck. Sure enough, I found Rushmore (please check out the link which can be found above!!) on DVD, 3 day loan.

Rushmore took me through a range of human emotion. I was amused, shocked, entertained, amazed, intrigued, angry and sympathetic.

Max Fischer, the main character played by Jason Schwartzman, presents himself as a character with an amazing drive, a conniving intellect, and the single-mindedness necessary to go as far as possible to get what he wants. In addition to the effective combination of these traits, he also has a foil: an quasi-sociopathic tendency to manipulate people in service of his goals. It is his almost Shakespearean intensity that serves to capture those around him in an inevitable storm of help, love, betrayal, hatred, defense and offense. Max Fischer is only 15 years old in the movie. He seems to see his age as more of a number than a shackle to his free will. Nothing subdues him in his drive to fulfill the whims that take his interest throughout the movie. He does everything from attempt to seduce a Grade 1 teacher at his Preperatory Academy, befriending an incredibly rich parent from the school, to getting that same rich parent in serious marital trouble.

Herman Blume, a leading support role played by Bob Murray, is a man who is bitter about having children that he didn't want and a marriage that just isn't working. He seems to get caught up by Max Fischer, if for no other reason than being around someone who seems to have drive in life. Max effects change for him. Even when that change turns out be negative on account of his marital philandering he still comes back to Max and establishes friendly relations with him.

Rosemary Cross, another leading support role played by Olivia Williams, is a first grade teacher at Rushmore Academy with problems getting over her dead husband. She befriends Max early in the movie not realizing the rocky road that lay ahead for her. She manages to stay confident throughout most of the movie, being able to handle herself without need of outside help. The relationship between Max and Rosemary develops to a point where she indeed realizes that Max's intentions are not pure. Although she states her boundaries to Max, and seems to maintain her confidence, she still decides to stay within Max' sphere of influence. I think that this decision leads her to rallying the use of her wits, self-knowledge, and self respect to overcome the multiple obstacles of Max' teenage lust, and Howard Blume's romantic interests in her.

I think that the harsh consequences which Max faces in response to his single-minded, and sometimes amoral, attitude serve to clue him in to the value of respecting himself and valuing others. Although he has lost a lot by the end of the movie, he has gained the ability to win the hearts of others in a less destructive way. Where before his pivotal change he was too embarassed to tell others that his father was a Barber, he later introduces his father with truth and respect to others like an honest person. Where before he was jealous and destructive of others stepping in on his love interests, he later calms down and stays secure that things will work out for him.

A quote from a book read by Max Fischer at one point in the movie says a lot:

"When one man, for whatever reason, has the opportunity to lead an extraordinary life, he has no right to keep it to himself." - Jacques-Yves Cousteau

Max Fischer truly shows himself to be an extraordinary person. The way he decides to be that extraordinary person is what makes the movie so colourful and intense, from black to vibrant yellow!

A stimulating movie overall!

Movie-critically,

- Inkhorn

Sunday, December 11, 2005

The Penultimate End at York!

I feel relieved!

Last night I finished my first draft of 2 sections of my Honour's Thesis research paper, marking the last thing I had to do for the fall Semester this year!

Right now I'm at a friend's house. I have actual friends! Wow it's quite bizzarre. I haven't hung out with my friends much at all during the school year. I have mainly hung out with people who live in my dorm. They have been the mainstay of my social life while at York University. Most people I shall probably not see or talk to for a very long time after my stay at York. I've made one really good friend out of my experience there - my neighbour! He's going back to Israel in February, meaning our friendship will probably have to consist of emailings and the like.

Maybe if I visit Israel in the near future I'll be able to see my friend. Until then he shall be a person who I had the good fortune to meet and hang out with periodically for 5 or so months.

I plan on doing some good self directed learning this Winter break. I hope I never stop learning things! I have more to learn about Logic, Judaism and People skills. Hopefully I will also get the chance to do more reading for my Honour's Thesis research. It's weird to think that I have this goal of going into Clinical Psychology, but I have been so very influenced by research in Cognitive Psychology along the way that I am thinking that I would seriously like to incorporate my newfound experience into Graduate School.

Speaking of Graduate School, I have one, maybe two, more applications to go before I call it quits and see who wants to accept me and who doesn't care about me. It's a pretty interesting time that I'm experiencing in my life. Things are opening up, I'm meeting nice people, getting advice from those with whom I'm already in contact at York. I'm feeling content!

To show my appreciation for the Professors who have been writing me letters of recommendation I got them some presents! Wine for one professor and filtered mini cigars with cheese for another professor.

Anyway, time to get off!

Existentially,

- Inkhorn

Friday, December 09, 2005

I am Inkhorn's Brewing Anger

One person who was supposed to send out three letters of recommendation for me to three graduate schools has not produced.

I'm angry right now. The type of anger where you expected someone to do something very important for you - after they said they would! His letters have not been received by any schools, and that sucks for me. If I'm especially unlucky then that means that now two applications have become a complete waste of money and time.

That burns.

Angrily,

- Inkhorn

Creative Liscence in Artwork

Today my next door neighbour gave me a Chanukah/חנוכה gift of great personal significance to him: a collection of 100 cards whereupon examples of his artwork can be found.

I felt that this was a really nice thing for him to do when he gave them to me. He spend the last 2 months, I believe, making close to 9000 cards with different pieces of his artwork on them. Why did he do this? That's a very difficult question. He has repeatedly expressed to me that he wants to make a change in the world, and one of the ways which he hopes to accomplish this is through his art.

Just within this stack of cards, barely over 1 percent of his entire collection, there is prevalent a concern for displaying bestiality, and other acts of human sexuality that would not be considered proper by some standards.

I found that my initial reaction to receiving his art changed the more I looked through it. It went from sheer appreciation for what a nice deed he had done to almost a revulsive reaction to some of the scenes depicted on the cardstock.

How does one consume art like this? I decided to reserve judgment as best I could. I'm not going to let my standards of sexual propriety get in the way of how I feel about my friend, especially on account of his art. Just because someone is depicting scenes of beastiality in the context of artwork it can't mean that they are actually in heat for a good romp with the animals. What I'm thinking is that the scenes could be a good projection of his feelings about the outside world on to a decisive analagous form. After all, isn't everything we do tied to our feelings, experiences, personalities, temperaments?

I looked up some info on Art for its own sake, just to see if there were any opinions about meaning vs. meaninglessness of art, and here is what i found from a website called Modernism by Christopher Witcombe:

A work of art is the unique result of a unique temperament. Its beauty comes from the fact that the author is what he is. It has nothing to do with the fact that other people want what they want. Indeed, the moment that an artist takes notice of what other people want, and tries to supply the demand, he ceases to be an artist, and becomes a dull or an amusing craftsman, an honest or dishonest tradesman. He has no further claim to be considered as an artist.

- Oscar Wilde

So according to this perspective art should be appreciated on a very uniquely individual basis. What I want out of the art doesn't matter so much as what the artist wants/or doesn't want to convey to me. Hard to accept in that case, isn't it?

After reflecting on these matters, I think the conclusion that I can come to is that giving this gift was something that must have required a good deal of openness. If he can be open like that to me, without fearing that I'm going to think he's a deviant, then I do respect that!

Acceptingly,

- Inkhorn

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Data Entry Complete :)

The Data Entry from Hell has been completed!

It was a very huge stack of questionnaire packages; 188 packages to be exact. I had to mark down at least 150 responses from each questionnaire package, using the numberpad the whole way through. It was kind of annoying as the job didn't go by very quickly. Looking through my time sheet I see that it took me around 12 hours in total to do - WOW!

Just to get some extra closure on the job, I took a picture of the pile of questionnaires that I worked with:














The questionnaires from the job which I described above are lying atop the ruler that you see in the stack of papers in the picture!

I'm glad that's over. Now the only thing left I have to do work on is the Introduction and Methodology section to my honour's thesis. The introduction section is not that hard, considering the fact that I played a big role in coming up with the ideas behind what I want to investigate in my study. It's really the methodology section which is iffy, seeing as how that will change according to what program we decide to use, and what particular parameters we decide to adopt.

Anyway I need to stop thinking for the night!

Cognitively,

- Inkhorn

Monday, December 05, 2005

Data Entry from Hell

I've recently been entering data from a paper based Marketing study that just won't quit. It took me a while to set up the data file for it. The study has 281 variables!! That's probably my biggest data entry job yet. I have only entered in 61 cases and it has taken me 5 hours in total. I have 38 more cases to go before I get to go to my Supervisor's office and pick up 80 more cases!!

All of this is due on Wednesday which means I really have to bite the bullet and work like crazy on this thing.

My Marketing Researach Assistant job has its ups and downs. Although I am being paid fairly well for this (relative to other less academic jobs that I have held in the past) some of the tasks can get rather tedious. The added benefit, which I must keep reminding myself of, is I get to cite my employment in Academia for a longer period of time than not. The longer that I am employed in Academia, the better it will be for me when being interviewed by potential graduate school supervisors!

Anyway, time to get ready to start my day!

Marketingly,

- Inkhorn

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Singer's Corner

Welcome to the first edition of Singer's Corner.

On this program I will showcase the creative, original songs that people come up with to give them a chance to have their material seen and evaluated. As the program is only in Blog format right now, the material will only be reproduced in textual format. Due to the text-only format, the material should be rated purely on the basis of poetic merit. No unduly racist, discriminatory, or unsophisticated remarks of criticism are allowed. Only remarks that show a careful, thoughtful analysis of the song being presented.

Without further ado, here is the first song:

"there's a hero... ifyou look inside your heart.... you don't have to be afraid of what you aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrre.....


............

there's an answer.. if you reach within your soul..and the smelliness that you know, will disappeeeeeeeeeeaaar...

....and then the valgarth comes along, w/the strength to carry on, and you cast your dirt aside, and you know he will survive. so when you feel like hope is gone.. turn to valgarth, he'll be strong. and you'll realize the truth...about the valgarth trapped in youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
"

The songwriter indicated to me that the song was written with Mariah Carey's "Hero" in mind.

Your comments?

Random Haiku Time! (RHT)

I love being here,
Online, I can do a lot,
Shut up and respond.




Haikuishly,

- Inkhorn

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